Happily Ever After and Transforming
I’m twenty pages away from finishing The Course of Love by Alain de Botton—a beautiful mashup of fiction and philosophy.
A couple chapters in, I caught myself wondering: when does the need for “happily ever after” begin? After the first fight? After you stop performing and start living?
That’s when it hit me: transformation works the same way. It doesn’t begin on January 1. It begins when you decide it does.
Every romantic suspense novel asks the same question: who controls your fate?
In fiction, it’s the villain. The double agent. The lover with secrets.
In real life? It might be you.
The version of you who made the rules years ago. The de facto person still running the show.
She made the rules to survive. But she doesn’t get to run your life forever.
She built habits for hard seasons: late nights numbing the loneliness. Overcommitting to prove her worth. Playing small to avoid rejection.
These weren’t flaws. They were survival strategies. She was resourceful. She kept you safe.
But the crisis has passed. Now the solution is steadiness.
And she’s still hoarding the control you need, deciding for a future she can’t imagine. So you keep living by rules you’ve outgrown.
So who decided January gets all the power?
We did.
We treat a calendar date like it has authority. Like it can give permission to change. It can’t. We give it that power. Automatically. Without question. On the journey to becoming an author, I’ve learned the hard way not to ask Monday for permission. Not to wait for January’s blessing. I decide. Then I act.
The Quiet Coup That Gets You Your Transformation
What if January isn’t your beginning?
Me? I reset my habits in early September.
Maybe it’s back-to-school energy. Maybe it’s the post-summer exhale. I suspect my September birthday plays a role.
But here is what I know for sure: my reset doesn’t depend on the calendar. It sidesteps the resolution guilt trips entirely.
By January, I’m sustaining, tweaking and adjusting, ready for winter.
If January doesn’t fit, choose a season that does. You’re allowed. You’re in charge.
Choose Your Reset Style
- Public start: January, community momentum, built-in public accountability.
- Private start: begin offstage, then share once it’s real.
- Silent start: no announcements. Only outcomes.
Your Turn
Leave a comment and tell me: 1, 2, or 3.
When does your year actually begin? When do you reset best?
And if you’re feeling brave: what old survival habits are you retiring? What rule did past-you write that present-you is done obeying?
Manuscript Update
I’m nearing the halfway point of draft three. I want this version to be the one that finally locks into place. It’s not a race, but I can feel the deadline tightening.
That’s it from me. Catch up soon👋🏾
Angela
P.S: Comment with 1, 2, or 3 (Public, Private, or Silent start). If you want a manuscript peek too, make sure you’re on the email list.
